A couple of weeks ago, I woke up and was in a funk. Have you ever had that happen? If you’ve never been in a funk, good for you! When I say a funk, I mean this general malaise, feeling down but not knowing why. I don’t want to confuse it with depression, that’s another subject. Basically, I woke up and could not find a smile, could not find motivation, could not find the joy that day.
When this happens, I try to find the reasons why. What is causing this funk? Why can’t I pull myself out of it? Why do I wear my emotions on my sleep? Why can’t I just fake it until I make it?
I examine what is going on in my life, in my friend’s lives, in the world at large. Did I get enough sleep? Did I have a bad dream? What is the root cause?
The last funk had so many causes. It started with a bad dream where I discovered my boyfriend had a fiancé. Poor guy…I woke up pretty upset with him. Luckily it was just a dream but it didn’t improve my mood. All day, I was examining what could be the deeper cause.
Perhaps it was because several friends are dealing with death and grief. A mother gone too soon, a sister gone after a tragic life, a father teetering in between here and there, another family member taken so suddenly, family members dealing with a cancer diagnosis. Perhaps it’s the general state of our world.
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that there has been a lot of crazy stuff going on and it made perfect sense that the funk descended. Now, what to do about it? Sometimes I feel like I need to ‘fight through’ the muck and put on a happy face but does that really work…maybe, for a short period of time. What tends to work for me, is to sit with it, be in it, work through it, take a nap, read a book, watch mindless tv…basically, don’t fight it. I have found the more I fight it, the longer the funk lasts.
The big lesson, I seem to have to learn over and over again, is that life will knock you off your feet and sometimes you need to lay there for a little while before getting back up. Get back up when you’re ready, and if you need someone to help you off the floor, give me a call.
What do you do when you get in one of these funks? I'd love to hear what works for you!
Many years ago, I thought about becoming a Life Coach. Based on my background, degree in Psychology and years of working in corporate Human Resources, it seemed like a natural fit for me. I thought about it and wondered the next best steps, talked to friends and then put it on the back burner. Meanwhile, I decided to get my Pilates certification and started teaching. A year or so after completing that training, I thought again about Life Coaching. I wondered if I really needed to get training or if it's something I could just do on my own. I did a little research, talked to some friends who had been through different training programs and then promptly put it aside, again. Then at the end of last year, I started to get serious about researching Coach training programs. I listened in on information sessions and had settled on a program in the first part of this year. I was scheduled to get a coaching session with one of their coaches and that was going to be the last step before signing up for their training. Well, that coach never showed up for our call, not a good sign. In the meantime, I received an email from another training program, Goal Imagery® Institute. I sent an email inquiring about a phone meeting to discuss the program, and Marianna (who runs the program) responded within minutes. We scheduled a call for the next day, Friday, with the next training session scheduled for the following Thursday! After an hour long conversation, I was convinced and signed up immediately! Luckily, the class got pushed back a few weeks, so I could wrap my brain around embarking on this new venture.
This photo of Allie starting longingly outside sums up how I was feeling this winter. Wanting to be outside but yet needing my solitude. Wanting to hide yet to be seen. It was a contradiction on so many levels. I wanted to start dating again but didn't want make to much of an effort. Then when Spring came, something shifted, I wanted to get out and play more. So I started the online dating again, started hanging out with friends more, started walking and getting outside more and feeling social again. Then Summer showed up and I felt like hiding again. Not that I didn't want to be outside or with friends, but I got discouraged with the online dating. I saw two ex-boyfriends that got me thinking about my choices in life. So I went into reflection mode, although I do that all the time, somehow it felt different this time. I unsubscribed to the dating sites, I stopped dating anyone and cleared out my social calendar. I sat by the pool by myself, avoiding the social activity happening on the other side. I needed my solitude. This past holiday weekend though, I went down to the pool and actually felt social. I met new neighbors, I reconnected with some old neighbors, one even told me he was happy I was out of hiding, and I really enjoyed myself. I even met some single neighbors, so we'll see what happens there. I feel more open to possibilities, more open to life, and more open to love...
Then yesterday, I had a past life reading which was fascinating to say the least. And if you don't believe in that stuff, that's cool, but I do and so am totally blown away. I'm still reflecting on all of it...a Revolutionary War soldier (for the British), a French courtesan...all had interesting lessons. The first life was the most incredible though and that is the woman I have been working to reclaim, without even knowing it! I'm not going to share too much about her but just knowing that she was a strong, intuitive, secure Elder woman who was an equal with the men in her tribe, well that gives me an inner strength. She was a storyteller too which of course has me thinking more about my writing. The more I reflect on her, the more I see myself coming out of the shadows and reclaiming that part of me. I feel like I've been hiding too long...it's definitely time to let go of the fear, trust myself and live THIS life to the fullest.
I turn 49 today and quite honestly that number is so strange to me. My mother is supposed to be 49, not me! I sure don't feel it and most people tell me I don't look it either, whatever that means. As I reflect on the last 49 years (ok, really the last year), I think about all of the things I've learned. Some lessons have taken a lot longer than others!
Over the last few weeks, I had a horrible pain in my left leg. I could not figure out the origin point. Acupuncture was helping for short periods of time but wasn't eliminating it completely. A massage, however, did pinpoint the origin of pain...it was actually my sacrum that was way out of whack. As I was laying on the massage table and feeling some relief, I thought about the sacral chakra and wondered if it had been blocked. I don't know much about chakras except that they are energy centers in our body. The sacral chakra is about feeling and sexuality and when the energy is flowing you are open to intimacy and passion.
