Grief from afar
When I left, she was unhappy with me and hurt, at least I think she was. I wrote a letter to try and explain why I left. I still loved her, I just couldn't be married anymore. We didn't talk for a very long time. Then one day I just picked up the phone and called, we had a really great conversation. Over the years, I wanted to reach out but never felt it was my place. I knew she was sick but I wasn't sure how to get in touch and felt that the communication would be unwanted. Now its too late, she is gone and I just hope she knows that to this day I still love her. I never stopped loving her. She was an amazing woman. I admired her for her strength and her perseverance. Even though we weren't in touch, I never stopped thinking about her. I would like to think that she and my brother will finally meet and share some good laughs.
Its an awkward place, the world of exes. How does one react to such a loss when you are no longer in touch, when everyone has moved on and there are no kids to connect you? I wasn't sure what to do, is it appropriate to send flowers, a card, or a donation in her name. Then I received an email from my ex-husband telling me of his loss which was, I must say, a surprise but very much appreciated. I felt like that gave me permission to let the tears flow...and to acknowledge that his mother was still special to me even though we long since parted. So I did send flowers and I will make a donation and I did send him my deepest sympathy. And today as they say their goodbyes, I am sending the family my thoughts and prayers.
Lesly is one special woman and she will be missed by many...including me.