23 years

23 Years goes by in a flash and yet seems so long ago, a lifetime really.  I remember that day like it was yesterday, the tears, the sorrow, the screaming and profound loss.  Yet, so much living has happened since then.  In that moment, you wonder how life could possibly go on and yet it does and you laugh and cry, experience joy and sorrow, have fun and dream.  You travel and stay home, you hang with friends and spend time alone.  You meet new people and let go of some others.  You get married and divorced.  You move again and again trying to find that place to call home.  And through all of this living, you know that he is there with you.  Even though you can't touch him, you feel his presence.  When you are questioning something and you ask out loud what to do, that familiar song comes on the radio and you laugh out loud and say thanks with glistening happy tears in your eyes.

You know that the love is and always will be there and even though his physical body is gone, his soul remains and is doing amazing work and that makes you smile even more.  And you are grateful to have had him as a brother.