Its all inside

I grew up always looking for approval.  Was I smart enough, pretty enough, good enough?  I rarely got into trouble because I didn't want to let anyone down.  I didn't want to disappoint anyone.  So I stayed on the straight and narrow and out of trouble.

Even as an adult, I have looked for approval from my friends, co-workers, mates, family.  Always looking for that compliment wherever I could.  I'm what some people would call a "Pleaser".  I don't want to make anyone mad or have anyone dislike me...even if it means I say yes to things I'm not always excited about or go places I don't necessarily want to go.

I am getting better about this.  I am saying No more when something doesn't seem right to me or Yes when its something I'm excited about.  I don't sign up for every E-course that tells me how to do this or that or be better, stronger, faster.  Heck, I have sworn off E-courses for awhile because I need to figure it out for MYSELF.

The answers are all INSIDE.  I just need to tap into them to figure out the right ones.  What is real and true and the right thing for one else.  It sounds a bit selfish, I know, but if you don't do the things that feel right to you or for you, then are you truly living?  I don't have children so maybe this is a little easier for me to say, I'd have to ask my friends with children if they feel this is an approach they don't have the luxury of taking.

I do know, that no one else is going to give me the answers or solutions or tell me what to do.  I have to figure it all out and I know deep down that the answers are there,  and I have to TRUST in my gut that I/it will be ENOUGH.